A.V

(I’m writing this so I can breathe) This is A.V. An INFJ and a Virgo. A person not built for the noise of society—because the presence of people, their gazes, their questions, their expectations, all seem to press in too close. Human closeness doesn’t comfort him—it freezes him. He shies away from small talk, the way one avoids the cold touch of metal on a winter morning. Words spoken without depth feel like static in his ears. He rarely meets eyes, not out of disrespect, but because looking too closely feels like peeling away skin—too raw, too much. He needs meaning—always. He can’t move without reason, without purpose. Every action must have a soul behind it. His heart doesn’t race at gold or applause—it flutters quietly at the sight of wild blue skies, of dew settling into green leaves, of rain on windows. He recharges in silence, in stillness, alone. He can go deep—so deep it might surprise you—but only in the soft privacy of one-on-one conversations. Put him in a group, and he fad...

 It’s 2AM. The night is young. The light is dim. Sleep has vanished, music hums in my headphones, I’m hugging a warm shawl— and I’m thinking. NEET is just a few days away, and truthfully, I was more prepared last year than I am now. So… have I wasted this year? To others, it might seem like I have—especially when the marks come. No matter how good or bad an exam goes, I always say: “It was average.” Even when I know I’ve filled half the answers incorrectly, those are the only words my lips can mumble. But for me, this year wasn’t a waste. It taught me things— About myself. About life. About choices. Still, I wish I had made the decision to pursue psychology earlier. What I don’t know is this: Am I drawn to psychology because it’s what I truly want, or because I haven’t studied enough for NEET and it feels like a safer dream? I don’t feel the same urge to study anymore. I keep saying the exams don’t stress me, but the thought of people — of explaining this shif...

“Dad, what should I make for dinner?” she asked.   My daughter, twenty-one now, standing in the kitchen with tired eyes and a wooden spoon. “Get ready,” I replied, pushing myself off the couch. “We’re going out.” “Where to?” “Well, what do you feel like eating? Pizza? Paneer? Or maybe... dosa?” She thought for a moment. “Dosa it is, then.” A few minutes later, we were getting ready. I stepped into the hallway and paused at the sight of her. “Oh dear,” I said, trying to hide my instinct behind a warm voice. “You’re not going to wear that, are you?” She groaned. “Ugh, Dad. Why not?” “The skirt’s too short. Wear a kurti.” She sighed dramatically, but turned and went back into her room without a word. Outside, the sky was restless. The clouds flashed above. The wind was cold, and not a single star was visible. It was going to rain—one of those long, thoughtful rains. Then Lily emerged—dolled up, in a light blue kurti, earrings catching the dull hallway light, and her long hair lef...

I see a small girl, chained in tattered feathers, blackened wings drooping unused from her back. Her hair, a tangled mess. Her eyes search for light, but remain hollow—soulless. She’s filled with pain… and envy. Envy that others can fly. Envy that their wings are brighter. Envy that they are simply… better. Pain that she can do nothing but cry. Helpless, bound by the heavy chains of a society that never asked what she wanted— just told her how to be. All she wants now… is to leave. I see a small child, with empty eyes and powerless wings, dragging chains that keep her on the ground. Someone who has lost her way. Someone whose silent screams go unheard. Someone without even a mouth to speak. She calls herself— Silent. Coward. Hypocrite. Worthless. Boring. And whatnot  Her friends— lost in their own little worlds. Each person absorbed in their own life. Much like her… but still, no one sees her. A.V

His presence stands tall and unwavering, as strong and steady as the ancient redwoods that have weathered countless seasons, their roots deep in the earth, unmoving, eternal. And yet, despite that stillness, I feel something shifting between us, as if an invisible red string is pulling us closer. My shoulders lean toward him, drawn the way branches stretch toward the sunlight—seeking warmth, seeking something unknown. His presence is warm, calm, comforting—like the soft apricity of a weary evening. My skin senses his heat before I even touch him, the fabric of his shirt grazing over my bare arms like a whisper, featherlight and fleeting. Our shoulders brush, a quiet closeness we have known before—yet still, my heart refuses to accept it, racing as if something unknown, something irreversible, is about to unfold. My mind, once filled with words, stills into silence, as if caught in the hush before a storm. And then—he closes the distance, as if I have silently given him perm...

Oh Captain, my Captain. To write poetry is to express , The world from your eyes. To carve silence into sound, To paint the world in syllables, To give voice to the unsaid. To write poetry is to inspire , The spark of creativity. To strike a match in the dark, To catch fleeting thoughts like fireflies, To turn a single word into a universe. To write poetry is to live , The moment you so waste. To gather the seconds others forget, To breathe life into fading memories, To find beauty in the breaking. To write poetry is to know , The depths of one's mind. To dive into the ocean of untold thoughts, To listen to the silence between words, To understand the self before it is lost. To write poetry is to believe , The cruel world still bears kindness. To stitch light into the fabric of sorrow, To find warmth in the coldest spaces, To remind the heart why it beats. To write poetry is to rebel , The demons inside. To break chains made of silence, To set fire to t...

Focus on studying in a way that leaves only a little revision before the NEET exam. You don’t have to master every single detail—just be strategic and make sure you’re covering high-weightage topics. Study the subjects you enjoy, but don’t ignore the ones you find difficult. It’s tempting to keep revising your strong areas, but NEET requires an overall good score, so balance is key. Prioritize subjects based on your energy levels—when you’re fresh, tackle the tough ones; when you’re feeling drained, go for the easier ones. Motivation comes and goes, so don’t rely on it too much. Build discipline instead. On days when you feel unmotivated, remind yourself why you’re doing this—write down your reason for becoming a doctor, even if it’s just one sentence. A simple habit like this can help keep your focus sharp. Stick to a study routine with a minimum number of hours you’ll study daily, but don’t be too rigid. Some days will be more productive than others, and that’s completely fine. What ...

 आप जानते हो, हम इतने अजीब और ज़्यादा सवाल क्यों पूछते हैं? शायद हम मतलबी हैं... कौन जाने किसका बुलावा कब आ जाए। शायद इसलिए हम आपसे सब कुछ सीख लेना चाहते हैं, ताकि बाद में कोई अफ़सोस न रहे। हम नहीं चाहते कि आप चले जाएं, और हम कभी जान ही न पाएं कि मम्मी और पापा कैसे शख़्स थे। शायद इसलिए बार-बार पूछ लेते हैं, और खुद को तैयार करते रहते हैं उस दिन के लिए जब आप नहीं होंगे। ये सब मामा, ताई जी, और परिवार को देख कर सीखा है। दिल... कभी कठोर नहीं हुआ, पर आँखें अब ग़म की ख़ूबसूरती देखना सीख गई हैं, और दिमाग... ग़म से उभरना। हमें अभी तक बात रखना अच्छे से नहीं आता, परिवारि निभा पाएंगे या नहीं, पता नहीं। (शायद पत्नी अच्छी होगी तो शायद निभा जाए।) आप लोग भी ज़्यादा उम्मीद मत रखो, और अपनी ज़िंदगी बिंदास हो कर जियो। जो हो रहा है, होने दो, ज़िंदगी बहुत छोटी है यार छोटी-छोटी बात की चिंता करने के लिए। (हाँ मम्मी, ये आप ही के लिए कह रहा हूँ।) तभी शायद हर अलविदा, दिल भर के होनी चाहिए, क्योंकि कौन जानता है, कौन-सी रुख़्सत आख़िरी हो। 21 फ़रवरी – आज काफ़ी दिनों बाद पापा की कमी महसूस हुई। त्योहार, सालगिरह, ज...

नाना, नमस्ते। कैसे हो? दर्द ज़्यादा होता है अब? सब लोग यहाँ उदास बैठे हैं, शायद इसलिए कह नहीं पा रहे, पर... अब तो आप मज़े करो— जितने भी दिन, महीने या साल बचे हैं, उन्हें अपने अधूरे ख़्वाब पूरे करने में बिताओ। कोई जगह जहाँ जाने का मन हो? जाओ। कोई बात जो कहनी हो? कह दो। बचपन का कोई अधूरा प्यार, नानी के अलावा— अगर मिलने का मन करे, तो मिल लेना। पुराने दोस्त जो अभी भी ज़िंदा हैं, उनसे भी दो बातें कर लेना। और हाँ— अगर अंतिम समय में पता चला कि कुछ अधूरा रह गया, तो सच कहूँ, हम आपको माफ़ नहीं करेंगे। आप तो चले जाओगे भगवान जी के पास, पर हमें यहाँ छोड़ जाओगे... रोते-रोते। और हाँ, इन बच्चों को भी समझा देना: "जैसे भी जाएँगे, अच्छे से जाएँगे। खुशी-खुशी जाएँगे। और तुम लोग ज़्यादा उदास हुए न, तो देखना, डराने भी आएँगे!" बाकी, इस क़ीमती समय का आनंद लीजिए— हवा का सनसनाहट, सूरज की धूप की गर्माहट, घर की चहल-पहल, गुलाब की मीठी खुशबू, कड़क अदरक वाली चाय का स्वाद, और इस चलते हुए समय की खूबसूरती। आख़िर में— हर समय अच्छा ही होता है, ना? बस नज़रिए की ही तो बात होती है ना? मौत के आसपास भी कितने प्यारे प...