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The Soft Bloom of Surrender

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His presence stands tall and unwavering, as strong and steady as the ancient redwoods that have weathered countless seasons, their roots deep in the earth, unmoving, eternal. And yet, despite that stillness, I feel something shifting between us, as if an invisible red string is pulling us closer. My shoulders lean toward him, drawn the way branches stretch toward the sunlight—seeking warmth, seeking something unknown. His presence is warm, calm, comforting—like the soft apricity of a weary evening. My skin senses his heat before I even touch him, the fabric of his shirt grazing over my bare arms like a whisper, featherlight and fleeting. Our shoulders brush, a quiet closeness we have known before—yet still, my heart refuses to accept it, racing as if something unknown, something irreversible, is about to unfold. My mind, once filled with words, stills into silence, as if caught in the hush before a storm. And then—he closes the distance, as if I have silently given him perm...
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To Write Poetry

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Oh Captain, my Captain. To write poetry is to express , The world from your eyes. To carve silence into sound, To paint the world in syllables, To give voice to the unsaid. To write poetry is to inspire , The spark of creativity. To strike a match in the dark, To catch fleeting thoughts like fireflies, To turn a single word into a universe. To write poetry is to live , The moment you so waste. To gather the seconds others forget, To breathe life into fading memories, To find beauty in the breaking. To write poetry is to know , The depths of one's mind. To dive into the ocean of untold thoughts, To listen to the silence between words, To understand the self before it is lost. To write poetry is to believe , The cruel world still bears kindness. To stitch light into the fabric of sorrow, To find warmth in the coldest spaces, To remind the heart why it beats. To write poetry is to rebel , The demons inside. To break chains made of silence, To set fire to t...
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NEET Advice

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Focus on studying in a way that leaves only a little revision before the NEET exam. You don’t have to master every single detail—just be strategic and make sure you’re covering high-weightage topics. Study the subjects you enjoy, but don’t ignore the ones you find difficult. It’s tempting to keep revising your strong areas, but NEET requires an overall good score, so balance is key. Prioritize subjects based on your energy levels—when you’re fresh, tackle the tough ones; when you’re feeling drained, go for the easier ones. Motivation comes and goes, so don’t rely on it too much. Build discipline instead. On days when you feel unmotivated, remind yourself why you’re doing this—write down your reason for becoming a doctor, even if it’s just one sentence. A simple habit like this can help keep your focus sharp. Stick to a study routine with a minimum number of hours you’ll study daily, but don’t be too rigid. Some days will be more productive than others, and that’s completely fine. What ...
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25th Anniversary

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 आप जानते हो, हम इतने अजीब और ज़्यादा सवाल क्यों पूछते हैं? शायद हम मतलबी हैं... कौन जाने किसका बुलावा कब आ जाए। शायद इसलिए हम आपसे सब कुछ सीख लेना चाहते हैं, ताकि बाद में कोई अफ़सोस न रहे। हम नहीं चाहते कि आप चले जाएं, और हम कभी जान ही न पाएं कि मम्मी और पापा कैसे शख़्स थे। शायद इसलिए बार-बार पूछ लेते हैं, और खुद को तैयार करते रहते हैं उस दिन के लिए जब आप नहीं होंगे। ये सब मामा, ताई जी, और परिवार को देख कर सीखा है। दिल... कभी कठोर नहीं हुआ, पर आँखें अब ग़म की ख़ूबसूरती देखना सीख गई हैं, और दिमाग... ग़म से उभरना। हमें अभी तक बात रखना अच्छे से नहीं आता, परिवारि निभा पाएंगे या नहीं, पता नहीं। (शायद पत्नी अच्छी होगी तो शायद निभा जाए।) आप लोग भी ज़्यादा उम्मीद मत रखो, और अपनी ज़िंदगी बिंदास हो कर जियो। जो हो रहा है, होने दो, ज़िंदगी बहुत छोटी है यार छोटी-छोटी बात की चिंता करने के लिए। (हाँ मम्मी, ये आप ही के लिए कह रहा हूँ।) तभी शायद हर अलविदा, दिल भर के होनी चाहिए, क्योंकि कौन जानता है, कौन-सी रुख़्सत आख़िरी हो। 21 फ़रवरी – आज काफ़ी दिनों बाद पापा की कमी महसूस हुई। त्योहार, सालगिरह, ज...
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नाना, नमस्ते

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नाना, नमस्ते। कैसे हो? दर्द ज़्यादा होता है अब? सब लोग यहाँ उदास बैठे हैं, शायद इसलिए कह नहीं पा रहे, पर... अब तो आप मज़े करो— जितने भी दिन, महीने या साल बचे हैं, उन्हें अपने अधूरे ख़्वाब पूरे करने में बिताओ। कोई जगह जहाँ जाने का मन हो? जाओ। कोई बात जो कहनी हो? कह दो। बचपन का कोई अधूरा प्यार, नानी के अलावा— अगर मिलने का मन करे, तो मिल लेना। पुराने दोस्त जो अभी भी ज़िंदा हैं, उनसे भी दो बातें कर लेना। और हाँ— अगर अंतिम समय में पता चला कि कुछ अधूरा रह गया, तो सच कहूँ, हम आपको माफ़ नहीं करेंगे। आप तो चले जाओगे भगवान जी के पास, पर हमें यहाँ छोड़ जाओगे... रोते-रोते। और हाँ, इन बच्चों को भी समझा देना: "जैसे भी जाएँगे, अच्छे से जाएँगे। खुशी-खुशी जाएँगे। और तुम लोग ज़्यादा उदास हुए न, तो देखना, डराने भी आएँगे!" बाकी, इस क़ीमती समय का आनंद लीजिए— हवा का सनसनाहट, सूरज की धूप की गर्माहट, घर की चहल-पहल, गुलाब की मीठी खुशबू, कड़क अदरक वाली चाय का स्वाद, और इस चलते हुए समय की खूबसूरती। आख़िर में— हर समय अच्छा ही होता है, ना? बस नज़रिए की ही तो बात होती है ना? मौत के आसपास भी कितने प्यारे प...
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Hmm...

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As exam closses in does you heart races? Yes How's study going on then? Not good How long have you been saying that? Been a while When is it going to get better? Dont know Do you think you can crack NEET? ... Dont know ... Hmmm, it weighs heavy, the burden of people's words. What shall I do? Throw away this phone, and just loose yourself. Forget people. No matter what happens, at least have no regrets. ... Hmmm....
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...

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"My mother died a few days ago..." You can cry—no need to hold back. Let those feelings flow. Soon, you too will understand That with time, things do get better. For now, don’t hold back... Let them flow, And soon, you will learn to accept them. The flashbacks will trouble you for life, But after some time, they become manageable. "Why are you smiling such a gental smile?" Cause I know, how the path is like, after losing someone, and I guess, in embrasing the loss I have learnt to see the beauty in it.  A.V
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30th January 2025

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"Vinay, Nana ki report le aana!" Mother shouted from the other room. I got the report, glanced over it, and saw the word malignant. Things were bad, but I didn’t know they were this bad— Not until I read it in detail at home. Malignant lung cancer. Spread to the 4th and 5th ribs, the pulmonary artery. At 70, with a weak body, the doctors would probably recommend a mix of chemotherapy, surgery, and maybe radiation. If he survives— And oh, how I dearly hope he does— His body will endure unimaginable pain. Mother asks, "What did the report say?" "Spreading cancer," is all I say. I hide the details. I am no doctor, to tell and carry the weight of those words. Soon, Mama arrives for the report. My MBBS cousin looks at it and says it’s Stage 4. I know how people become. I know what they feel. I have felt it. I have lived through it. I have seen Death. The disease is not in my immediate family, But those I hold dear will hurt. Why, mind, why? Why do you feel s...
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Dear...

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We never really interacted in person. We grew together, but seprated  The friend group split as soon as it was formed— COVID was the reason. Then, in the blink of an eye, 11th came. Classes divided, And our conversations, once alive in chat, Fell silent. Even now, we’re growing, trying to keep this little group alive. And yet, as we grow, so dose my Insecurity. I don’t know how to tell stories, How to put a smile on someone’s face. I’m just Brother Boring— The one who listens, The one who gets awkward, A side character standing in the background. Maybe that’s why it grows, this feeling, Because I’ve seen you with others— Laughing, goofing off, Snapping pictures, And I know how you feel. Yes, we had a strange past. But that doesn’t trouble me. I don’t think I’ll ever send this to you. But if you find it, You don’t have to say or do anything. Just live freely, dear soul. And when your wings feel heavy, I’ll always be here to listen. A.V
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Colours of Youth

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Eyes filled with sleep, Mind too dozing down, Cold eating away my feet. The monotonous life of study— Even that has stopped. Finding motivation, Spending days wondering, Wasting life, Wasting youth. These colors of youth have shown me many things. From love drama to fights, From euphoric moments to flooding nostalgia. From self-hate to self-love, Then back to self-hate. From the long days of boredom to the fleeting feeling of time. From relying on others to doing everything alone. A.V
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