A.V

The car rumbles softly, the slow hum of tires sinking into the road. Pine trees pass by as we sway from side to side, following the winding spine of the mountains. It’s cold, but the sun is out so it’s okay. Now and then, a small house slips past. A sudden burst of color catches my eye wild and brief against all the green. Cows wander freely, owning the single lane road. The roadside glows with the lime of new leaves, glistening under the sun: katana camara, floss flowers, carrot grass. 1,700 meters above sea level. I look down. The mountains are carved into steps and roads, half-hidden by a thin white mist  I can’t tell if it’s natural, or the afterglow of Diwali smoke. After rushing from city to city these past few days, even a few hours of this quiet feel like home. A home not made of bricks, but of the presence of those close by. It’s been a while since the mountains have felt me. Green signs flicker past, curves lined with steel guardrails. Electric poles descend t...

Hi there, Lilly It’s been a little while Did you miss me? You thought you buried me, risky. But you know I don’t stay gone, I linger, I slither, I wait in the periphery. Lilly, aren’t you pleased to see me? It’s been weeks since we spoke, bro. I know you need me. Go away. I have no need of you. You only bring destruction to a life I am trying to rebuild. I have no place for you here. Ooo, look at you, lamb with no shepherd, wandering circles, lost, untethered. Mind like a maze you can’t remember, heart like coal gone cold in December. I’m learning, slowly. I’m trying to redo my life, to piece it back together. You think. You plan. But you never act. Too afraid. Too small. Dreams so tall, reality so flat. Look at you, child, grounded, broken wings, grey-eyed, staring at skies you’ll never touch. But I will. This time I will. I have motivation now. Support. People. I even achieved something recently. Doesn’t that count for once? Achieved? You? Don’t make me laugh. Never a ste...