A sadened Journey
The Journey
12/June/2022
Packings done, we are off to catch the bus. With every gust of wind that touches us, we are reminded of the purpose of our journey; to see Tai Ji, who is in the last stage of stomach cancer, chances are low....but we are trying everything.
The bus is mostly empty, but as the time of departure comes close it starts to get crowded. To be honest, night travel by bus is quite different, and it makes me long to travel with my friends like this.
The slow humming of the crowd and the sounds of the bus fills the environment with dark blue ambient lighting. Mother by my side, a book in my hands, and lofi songs in my ears.
The bus gradually makes its way out of the city, then rushes to its destination. It's a bumpy ride, I won't disagree, but it's a peacefully gloomy ride to Deharadun.
During half-sleep, I create plans for the future. Some will get fulfilled and some will wonder in the dreams of a divine angel.
It's midnight. The bus halts outside a restaurant. We step out to stretch our legs, and I see a stone path leading to a hanging sofa swing, engulfed with trees and plants. I take a seat on the swing, and the song "O Ri Chiraiyya" fills the air. The moon's glow is showered down on the trees and filtered down to the ground. Stars also add up to the shine. The hanging sofa swings back and forth with me on it, feeling the sweet solitude.
Once we reached Dehradun, my father came to pick us up. Somehow we reached the room and ironically, as expected, as soon as I entered the room, I threw my luggage over to the side, and just jumped on the bed to have a good sleep. When I woke up, I found out it was 12, and I slept like a panda.
The Stay, and The Meet
14/June/2022
After a day or two, we went to Rishikesh. Tai Ji's treatment is being continued from AIMS, Rishikesh. The room has been rented nearby. With father, we entered the room. I would doge describing the environment, I would doge telling, that Tai Ji's body, is now just a skeleton with a layer of meat, the stomach has become like a six-seven months pregnant lady due to bloating of stomach.........and a weak body resembling a twig. Adenocarcinoma of the stomach, stomach cancer. I would also doge explaining how saddened everyone's face had become, their mind; in stress and tension.
Shadi mai waada kiya jata hai, kai zindigi kai har modh par, saath rahaingai, saath chalinga. Iss ka matlab tau ji ko dhek kai pata chala. Par sabsai jada lagta hai bhaiya ka......wo kai sai apni mummy ka dhyan rakhai, jab wo bhi jantai hai, bachna mushkil hai.... O bhaiya kai sai samjhatai ho aaapnai aap ko. O bhaiya himmat rakhna......
Hum kuch dino mai ghar a gaai, dhearadun. Spending time with father was never regretted.......he usually stays away because of duty.....so ya.
Then....
Raining down on the bereaved journey
First
I hear the rumbling of
the thunder, their
shrieks of pain....
Then
Slowly, it starts to
shower down
it's big tears....
Shivering
cold gusts of
wind, humbly
numbing our senses....
Trees
rain and wind
resonate, together
in synchrony....
Making
me stand open
as every drop, slides
off my skin, like blood....
It
lasts, it's time
dissolving sorrow
to every corner....
A.V
It rained for two-three days, and the weather was cozy; perfect for a cup of ginger tea. My blanket cuddled me, as the icy wet winds dissolved in our room. It was cozy, as the lofi songs and falling rain melted our hearts.
18/June/2022
We went to Rishikesh, with shabad filling the whole car with divine voices. Every shabad, melts our heart, jai sai barso sai jami barav ka booj halkai halkai kam hota hai.
We reached, and we see Tai Ji crying, as tau Ji supports her. I wonder what would be happening inside one mind in this condition, mental breakdown? Depression? Hopelessness? And how many other fellings?
But, one shall stay strong, at every situation na......o ri chiraiya, yai angan chor kai mt jana, nahi tho suna ho jai ga yai ghar, aur mn ki dahaileez bhi. .........
A.V
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