Diary Entry: Insomnia?

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Slept at 3 AM.

In the last 65 hours, only 3 hours of sleep.

Woke up at 12:30 PM. Mind still hazy.

Eyes were hurting last night, almost asking to be closed, yet the mind didn't want sleep. I tried laying down, but the heart was uneasy. Been cold to friends and family in the past few days.

Is this insomnia? Mind's tired, body too, yet sleep doesn't come. Even when it does, I refuse to fall.

I can't handle the silence in this room. I fill it up with songs I don't want to listen to, podcasts I play in the background some comforting, some just to fill the space. Mostly Hermitcraft. Or anime. Or dramas.

Been loving the series I recently started, The First Frost. I love watching how the female lead perfectly portrays how an INFJ lives the small bits, the silence, the feelings of self-worth, the coldness, the softness, the calmness. All of it. I find myself in it.

Why don't I sleep? Maybe instead of wasting time trying to fall asleep, I can do something. Or maybe I just don't like being idle.

I woke up, still tired. Tomorrow is an exam I haven't studied for.

Somehow I managed to freshen up and make lunch. Served myself. Opened The First Frost on Netflix.

I took the first bite. It wasn't that tasty compared to other times I made this dish.

But it was warm.

My eyes teared up. Don't know why. They just did.

Messages left unseen. Hobbies asking for effort. Subjects asking for work. Room screaming to be cleaned. Clothes asking to be washed. Dishes to be cleaned.

Slowly, but surely, we'll manage everything.

Right?
A.V

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